Tomorrow is September 11th. I remember this day exactly one year ago: I had been in Nairobi a little over a week, and Victor took our group around, we went to "Bomb Blast" the site where the US Embassy was bombed in 1998, now a small memorial and garden downtown. I was far from my family for the first time for 9/11 and i lost it a little bit, but Belle was there to get me through the day. I won't ever forget that day 9/11/2011 either. It was the start of a whole new life for me, or rather, outlook on life. Those that contributed to that have no idea, but I'm giving thanks here.
One year ago, I cannot believe it has been that long. Never mind the 11 years that have passed since 9/11/2001. I as a fifth grader was terrified confused, not quite old enough to understand the severity of what was happening, but old enough to be scared. And look where I am now, a senior in college, getting ready to enter the real world, just as scared, but excited as well.
First of all i want to say i love my friends and family more than they know whether or not i see them or talk with them frequently, you all are always in my heart. And, Uncle T know we love and miss you and remember you every single day as we go on living life to our best. At least I know that's what I have been trying to do.
While I have been trying to live my life to my greatest potential for myself and all those around me, I thought this would be a good time to wrap up my blog (until KattyisbackinKenya) and sincerely talk about my time over the last year.
Today I was at home between class and babysitting, having lunch and i decided to hang up the painting of the Nairobi skyline Lefty had painted for me. And then it hit me, I said out loud, "i miss it," I am no longer in Nairobi and I probably won't be back for a long while.
That may sound silly, but I emotionally blocked myself from accepting that i was heading back to DC, while i was leaving, and even the past few weeks while i've been living here. I've moved into my apartment, cooked plenty of dinners and even gotten a kitty (Sir Charles, or Charlie who is a precious black and white kitten). But nope I was still quite in denial. I probably still am, i'm sure the next few months will be just as much as a ride as when i first left the country a little over a year ago.
I would like to start off (well continue at least) with a quick summary of the end of my twelve months spent in Kenya: incredible, and I wouldn't change a single part of it for anything in the world.
Being back in DC and seeing everyone, i get all the usual questions including the big one: "how was africa?"
now i understand people are being polite, but how the hell can I sum up the past 12 months of my life in a phrase. I usually resort to, with a huge smile on my face, "it was fabulous, amazing, terrifying, incredible, and i loved it." but that doesn't even hint at how i actually do feel about "how africa was" or rather my experience in Kenya. I may try here, but please whatever I am saying gives it zero justice, it's not something i can explain, it's something you have to experience. and I don't mean go fly half way across the world and live in a slum, i mean have this experience so incredible, and life changing no one will ever understand how you feel, grew, changed. hell it may mean eating at a different restaurant than normal, or going up to a stranger and becoming friends. whatever floats your boat- do it. jump into absurd situations. to be honest crazy shit happens to me because i make sure it does. and I wouldn't have it any other way (maybe my parents would, but sorry your Goose is all grow'd up).
speaking of, I have grown so much not only as a student, but as a person in the past year. in ways i never thought in a million years possible, and in just those few short months. and no, not because "it was africa" or because of the incredible out of body/culture everything experience i had, and yes of course the place, culture and language were unfamiliar and taught me to think quick be patient and deal with shit (literally and figuratively). but my time away (or home as i like to call it) had such a profound affect on my life because of the people that entered my life there, and the experiences i had. But guess what, i'm still growing, learning, experiencing. that doesn't stop just because i left Kenya, that was just the start.
I haven't had even a moment to reflect about leaving Nairobi, or being back in DC because of my insane hectic schedule, which has probably been for the better. But tomorrow is an important day to remember and reflect, not only on the horrific attack on our country, and on a personal level my family, but to reflect on those who are important to you whether you live with them or they live half way across the world- and in my case, both places.
Now, I cannot write any words, english or kiswahili, that give enough thanks to those who have truly affected my life for the better. I won't list their names either, but you know who you are (all Kenyan, American, German, or whatever part of the world you are from). and you will always be a huge part of me. for those of you that don't know what my tattoo means, take a second to google it: celtic eternity knot. my interpretation of it is that your past (and those who + experiences) that enter your life change your future, but new things are always happening and reshaping who you are and what you do. it's a never ending cycle, an eternal one.
Well i've now been writing/rewriting this for almost 2 hours, it's well past midnight. and i (shockingly enough) have a busy day tomorrow.
So this was my attempt to explain to you, or answer any questions about my experience abroad. Of course if anyone wants a phone call to chat, or grab a beer (or coffee), or just wants to come play with my kitty. hit me up, because i refuse to be anti-social and depressed that i'm not in kenya anyone. I am going to kick ass this year, my last year and live it like i was back in Nairobi. The way I know my Uncle T would have wanted everyone to live their life.
And look out world, cause hell yeah i'll be seeing lots of you for a while.
and finally-
friends, family, and random strangers reading this for no reason,
don't forget to smile today.
